from Kristen at Rocky Gap: "Telling On Myself"

I broke the news to the Maryland Park Service this week; first Annapolis, and then my current Park Manager. It was pretty nerve-wracking quite honestly, cause I love my job and the people I've worked along side. Annapolis was easier, cause it’s far away and I don’t have to face it everyday. Besides that my initial contact there was to be a long time family friend; not so intimidating, and I’d had awhile to think about that one. My current park manager was far more daunting, simply because I’m having to say this only a month after I transferred, and most of those 4 weeks I’ve know him, he’s been on leave for hunting season, so I had know idea how this is going to affect him. Moreover, I’d mentally prepared to present this to my former park manager, who I’d known for over a year and who himself has done the whole A.T. by sections. The responses…were unanimously affirmative and supportive. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, probably something more neutral and formal. I guess it’s the unknown sets me so terribly on edge. In that light, I suppose it’s ironic that I’m so set on thru-hiking. Isn’t thru-hiking a solid 5 months of living and breathing the unknown and unexpected? Thru-hiking doesn’t hold the disappointment factor, though. Not intrinsically. It’s the request for leave of absence that has the potential for the powers that be to be disappointed in me. That’s what I was dreading. Because I personalize everything into the realm of the other person’s feelings. I seem to treat all of life like it’s a relationship, and that’s why it’s doubtful I’ll ever make a very good intra-agency professional. But- at least nobody’s upset at me today. And in 16 weeks- I'll be on the trail where I'm just another hiker.